Apologies & Forgiveness: Part 2

Forgiveness

Matthew 6:14-15

Jesus said, 14. "For if your forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

If you revisit part one of this blog you will see where it states that we are to love one another as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31). I spoke of how if someone has done us wrong, we would want an apology and vice versa, if we have wronged someone then we, too, should also apologize. Well guess what?! The same goes for forgiveness!

Sometimes forgiving others can be just as difficult as apologizing when we have been wrong. It can especially be hard if the same thing keeps happening over and over and OVER again. You may even be asking right now "when is enough, enough?" "If it keeps happening, can I stop forgiving? I say NO!

In Matthew 18, Peter asks Jesus, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" And Jesus answered, "I tell you , not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

Jesus also said in Luke 17:3-4, 3."If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying 'I repent.' you MUST forgive them."

Now notice in verse three, Jesus said to rebuke them who sin against you, meaning that you have the right not to be a doormat for someone to sin against you, hurt you or abuse you. But, He also said that if they ask for forgiveness, you must forgive them.

You may be wondering what it means to truly forgive someone. To forgive according to the Oxford English Dictionary, means to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt. It is also the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of perceived offenses, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

What forgiveness doesn't mean is to say "Ok, I forgive." and next week remind that person of the time they… I know you know what I'm talking about. Forgiveness doesn't mean to have conditions either. The way I see it either your choose to forgive or you don't. There is no "I forgive you, but you have to…" or "The only way I will forgive you is  if you…" Either you do or you don't. Simple.

Some say "forgive and forget." I say forgive and remember! Not remember the person and their offense, but the lessons learned from the situation. No one deserves, after apologizing, to have an offense held over their heads. After all, you wouldn't want that for you… However, you should remember what you learned so that you may guard yourself against these things happening to you continually.

Also keep in mind that forgiveness is not about the other person. Forgiveness is for you. When you forgive someone, not only do you allow God to forgive you, but you also free yourself from any hurt, anger, resentment and any other baggage that you may be carrying through life. Let it go! And know, too, that you don't have to wait for an apology to forgive.

There is no greater sacrifice than the sacrifice that Jesus made by dying on the cross so that, no matter how unworthy we are, our sins would be forgiven. So who are we that we shouldn't forgive our brothers and sisters? Go Ahead. I dare you. Forgive them and BE FREE!

With Love Always,

JC

Apologies & Forgiveness: Part 1

Apologies

If you are like me, you have been wrong many times… I mean MANY times. You would also know that one of the most difficult things about being wrong is admitted that you were. Also, if you are like me, you've felt (at times) that even when you were wrong, your thoughts, words and even actions were totally justified. Ha silly me (and if you're like me then silly you too)! 

The Bible says in Mark 12:30-31 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater."

I think we all have heard of the Golden Rule :"Treat others the way you want to be treated." We were constantly reminded of this when we were in elementary school when it came to pushing, shoving and being out of turn. Well the Bible say this too in verse 31. "Love your neighbor as yourself." I know that if I were wronged by someone, I would want an apology which also means that if I have done someone wrong, I should apologize too. 

So here's another one for you… James 5:16 says "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayers of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

An apology is a regretful acknowledgement of an offense or failure. It also means asking pardon for a fault or offense. This takes us back to what the previous verse said: "confess your sins…"

In order to apologize properly you first have to acknowledge and admit to your wrong doings. There are no if's, and's or buts about it!  Clearly state what you are apologizing for.

Then you need to take full responsibility for your actions. Your apology is about what YOU did, not what the other person did to trigger you - remember no one can make you do anything. There are no excuses! 

Be sincere. Don't apologize because someone is "making" you. Do it because you were wrong and want to be forgiven. Imagine how you'd feel if someone treated you in the same way you have acted.

Apologize face to face. Making eye contact conveys sincerity versus a phone call, text, email or voicemail. Writing it down first is a good way to get your thoughts out and remember what you want to say. It can also help if your apology is a difficult one.

Ask the person who has been offended if there is anything (within reason) that you can do to make up for your offense.

Ask for forgiveness and express your appreciation to them for hearing you out.

Honor your word and last, but certainly not least, pray!

Please understand that sometimes the person to whom you are apologizing may not be willing to forgive you (at least not in that moment). Although, we wish for forgiveness, its ok. You have done your part and the next step is on them.

I know that apologizing can be a difficult thing but I urge you to make things right. Such a great burden is lifted when you are able to clear your conscience. So go ahead. I dare you. BE FREE!

With Love Always,

JC

What Are You Worrying About?

How many of you out there worry or get stressed out? (Everyone slowly raises their hand). We all do it at some point or another. I have been so guilty of this but I'm learning (remember EVERYTHING is a process) how to over come this.

I read in the book Crazy Love by Fran Chan that "worry implies that we don't quite trust God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives." It then goes on to say that "stress says the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control."

WHOA! I don't know about you, but when I read this I felt convicted on the inside. How dare I say that I love God and that He loves me and will take care of all my needs and then not trust Him to be who He says He is!

We are told in Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

It also says in1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore,  under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

SEE! God loves us and he wants us to come to Him with EVERYTHING. When we focus our attention on Him, it makes the troubles of the world seem not so bad. With Him nothing is impossible!

While we are focusing on God and giving our cares to him, here are a few other things that we can do to help alleviate some of that worry and stress:

1. Are you feeling guilty? In whatever it is, be honest and ask for forgiveness. This will lift what may be a huge burden off of your shoulders.

2. Get some sleep! I know when I am sleep deprived, I tend to stress more and become more anxious. Strive to get those 8 hours that we need in order to function properly.

3. Relax and focus. When setting goals, make them realistic, prepare and focus. Then relax as things fall into place.

4. Listen to great music. Not just music you like, but music that eases your mind and puts you in a happy place.

5. Take time out to do something that you enjoy.

6. Talk it out. Find someone that you know and trust, who will give you a new perspective on whatever it is that you are dealing with. Remember to look for truth and words that are constructive. 

7. Exercise! This may be my favorite. I've never heard of anyone finishing a workout and feeling worse than they did before they began. Endorphins Rock!

8. PRAY! Don't let this be your last resort, make it your first. Be faithful and intentional in your prayers. Pray before,during, and after whatever it is your are going through.

9. Give Thanks!

There are lots of things out there that are in and out of our control. If you can do something about it, take action. If you can't do anything about it, then whats the point of worrying.

Jesus said in Luke 12:22-26 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?"

Just by revisiting these few verses, I already feel better about the happenings of my life. I hope this has brought some encouragement to you as well. Remember God is all-knowing and He loves us more that we can ever know. Give all of your cares to Him and be blessed!

With Love Always,

JC

Know Who You Are & Do Something Great

Do you ever sit and think, just wondering what your purpose is? Wondering who you are and what you were created to do? Do you find yourself moving day to day only going through the motions? Well… I can't tell you exactly what you were created to do (that answer can only come from God), but I can tell you that you were destined for greatness!

I am learning that the God that has created us has designed us with a special purpose in mind. He has given us all different gifts and talents. Some are big and some are small. Either way He figured we were just right for the job. The secret to unlocking that which you were created to do is to look deeper. Tap into your heart. I am sure that if you think about it, there is something that, every time you see it, think about it, experience it, pulls on your heart strings. These are those constant things that give us energy, that keep us going. These are the things that God is revealing to you in His very own way so that we can make things happen.

I believe the only way to tap into what you were created to do is to have some "me time." Spend some time with yourself. More importantly, spend some time with God.  This is how you discover who you are, who you are in Him and what your purpose is.

When it comes to thinking about talents, dreams, gift and purposes, this poem, Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson, is one of my favorites.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear

is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness,

that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,

talented and fabulous?

Actually who are we not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people

won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do.

We were born to make manifest

the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And when we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people 

permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

As always, I don't have all the answers. But I do know that you are great and were created to do/ be something great. Let your light shine and be encouraged!

With Love

JC

Love and the Ultimate Sacrifice

Can you imagine having a love for someone so strong that you would give your very own life to save their soul? That is exactly what the Lord did for each and every one of us. In the Bible, John 3:16 says 


"For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son so that whosoever shall believe in him will not perish but have eternal life"


Wow! God knew us before we were even created. And before we even got here He sent son Jesus to die for our sins so that we may be saved. 


Now I don't know about you but I get very happy and excited when someone close to me anticipates a need and fulfills that need before I even get an opportunity to ask!


Imagine driving home from work extra hungry and knowing that you have to cook... You are tired, don't feel like cooking but you have a family that is depending on you... Now imagine that you walk through the door to this spectacular aroma. The table is prepared and the children are all washed up. Imagine the feeling you get knowing that your spouse thought so much of you that he/she lightened the load for you. Doesn't that make you want to do anything and everything keep your husband or wife happy?


Now imagine God... He has anticipated every need that we would have before we even step foot on this earth - from shelter, food and clothes to salvation! And all He wants of us is that we love Him, obey His word and spread His word. That's it!


If you are ready to receive your salvation, the Bible says all you have to do is believe in your heart and confess with your mouth (Romans 10:9). You can say your own prayer but here is one in case you're not sure where to start...


" Lord Jesus, I believe you are the son of God. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. Please forgive my sins and give me the gift of eternal life. I ask you into my life and heart to be my Lord and Savior. I want to serve you always."


I accepted Jesus into my life when I was young and just recently rededicated my life to the Lord. It is the best decision that I have made and I hope you will join me.


God is love and God is life. Be blessed.


JC

Love Is...

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, let's talks about love. What is it? Is it just a word? Is it something that you can buy? What does it mean to love? So many are running around for this one of many commercial holidays buying this and buying that just to prove their love (or deep like) for one another. But do we really get what it means to love?  Just incase you were wondering here it is; a break down for you coming straight from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5. Its does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6. Love does no delight in  evil but rejoices with the truth. 7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preservers. 8. Love never fails…

WOW! Love is amazing! Every time I read this passage, I am reminded of the things that I should be doing to show my love. Sometimes I fall short  and thats ok (I guess thats why it is written - to remind us). The point is that we must always strive to achieve this kind of love. This unconditional love.

While we are out purchasing things let us also be reminded of the intangible - the love that we cannot see, we cannot touch, that doesn't cost money, but the love that we feel. The love that we show through our actions, words and even thoughts. Let us remember that. After all, things… well… they fade, get lost,  forgotten, broken and tossed out. But love… now love is forever.

With Love Always,

JC

Celebrate Love, Celebrate Us

One week until the "BIG DAY!" What day is that? Valentine's Day of course! While I am not anti-St. Valentine, I am beginning to wonder what the point is. I can remember waiting and anticipating what pleasantries my beaux was going to shower me with on this glorious of days. I can also remember how I felt on the Valentine's Days when I had no one, nothing and no where to go. And again I wonder what is the point.

This year and every year for the rest of my life I have a Valentine but does it really take that one day for him to show me that he loves me or how much. And what about the people who don't have anyone. Should this day really be the reminder they need of how "nobody cares?" What about all the days before and all the days after Valentine's Day?

I recently saw a commercial for a jewelry store with a slogan that said "Celebrate Us" and felt inspired. Celebrate Us. I like it. I don't, however, see it only as meaning to celebrate a couple, but to celebrate all. Celebrate life. Celebrate love. Celebrate people. Celebrate each other. Then i got to thinking… When or how did Valentine's Day get so complicated? When did it become a day use to validate love? Remember being in elementary school and just buying a box of candy with a card attached that said "you're neat-o." Remember when giant bears, flowers, huge boxes of candy and champagne (or sparkling cider), etc. didn't matter. Everyone, I mean EVERYONE, got a piece of candy with small card letting them know that they too are truly special. What happened to that?

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy getting a present for Valentine's or any day for that matter. But again, what about others like single mothers or widows/ widowers or the lonely neighbor. Who do they have to remind them of how truly awesome they are? That person could be you!

This Valentine's Day, I challenge you to reach out to someone who may not have anyone else. It doesn't have to be anything big. Maybe that two dollar box of cards to pass out to your co-workers. Some homemade cookies for a neighbor or friend. Some flowers for an elderly stranger in a local nursing home. Or just a simple phone call. It doesn't take much to show someone else that they are loved. After all, don't we all deserve to know.

Oh yeah! And don't forget to spread love the other 364 days in the year!

From me to you Happy Valentine's Day. God loves you, so love and take care of yourself and others. 

With Love,

JC